I wonder what he looks at. He just looks at his phone for hours. It must be important. When’s the last time he went outside? I can’t even get out. There’s nothing for me to eat. When’s the last time I ate? When’s the last time he ate? I’m so weak. I need to eat something. I hope he gets up so I can fly out. Has he noticed me? Does he see me? He’s not like most. He hasn’t tried swatting me. I’ve tried looking for windows, but there’s no sunlight. Are there no windows? Are they covered? Are they covered by the blankets? I feel dizzy. I’m just gonna stay on the wall for a bit.
When I flew in, he was different. I remember it was dark outside. I saw a pair of lights pull in and they got my attention. I flew closer and saw him get out. I couldn’t see well, but I flew towards the light when he opened the door. He looked happy. Or I think it was happiness. I had never seen that look. I was just happy there was light. And food. Not much, but something to eat. I followed him further inside the house, hoping for more light and maybe more food.
I lost him in the house for a while. The space was bigger than I thought, with shadows and corners that confused me. But then I flew into him again, after I ate. When I found him, he was on his computer in the bedroom. He looked concentrated. Maybe he was studying. I just saw the bright screen but couldn’t make out what it was. He also had the TV on, but he wasn’t watching it. It was more like background noise. I don’t like the TV being on. There are too many colors. It’s scary. The way the colors move… it feels like they might swallow me up. I hid near the ceiling and waited for it to stop, but it never did. The TV has been on this whole time. After some time at the computer, he moved to the bed and closed the door. I followed him in here, not knowing I’d be trapped. The bedroom door hasn’t opened since.
The room smells funky. Not just him—although when’s the last time he showered? It’s like the air is heavy with something sour and stale. I can’t tell where the smells are coming from. Maybe everywhere. It makes my wings feel sticky and gross.
What’s this? He’s moving. He’s getting up. Yes! Please open the door. What are you doing? What are you getting? No, no, no. He’s just getting his stuff again. I still don’t know what it is. I think it’s a small bag, but I don’t know what it has. He just pours some of it out onto his nightstand and presses down on it with a card. It makes loud crunching sounds. He then scrapes it into lines. He looks so happy and sad doing this. I’ve never seen anyone behave like this. Why would you be happy and sad at the same time?
Yup. There he goes rolling up a dollar bill. Here it comes. *Snort*
The look on his face—what is that? I can tell he really likes it, but at the same time, he shows no emotion. As if his face was expressionless. He just lays right back down. Back to his phone. What does he do? Is that his life? How sad. I haven’t known him long, but he doesn’t look happy. But what do I know? Maybe this is normal. Ahhh…my stomach. I have to eat soon. Please let me out so I can find some food.
Where was I?
Right, the TV. I don’t know why he has it on if he doesn’t watch it. But what’s weird is that the volume started higher and then he’d lower it for no reason. He’d stay peeking out behind the blankets for a long time. I don’t hear anything, but maybe he does. He tries to be quiet, as if he was trying not to make noise. Is he hiding? From what? From who? The room feels like it’s holding its breath when he does that. I can barely move when it happens. It’s like the air thickens.
He’s moving. He’s moving. I’ve got to eat now. I can’t take it much longer. No, never mind. He’s just getting the small bag again. Yup, pouring it out. *Crack* He’s just making more lines. What is it? Can I eat it? I have to. I must. That’s my only option. I’m gonna get some when he looks away. It must be food. That’s all he’s been doing.
Gotta get ready. *Snort* Almost time. He’s just gonna lay back down. Wait. What’s he doing? He’s unzipping his pants. He has a different look on his face. What is that? He’s pulling something out. Why’s he touching it? He looks distracted. Now’s my chance. Let me fly over there. He’s not paying attention. Why’s he breathing hard? He’s moving his arm faster. Almost there. Don’t call attention to yourself. Yes! I’m on the table. Let’s walk over there. It doesn’t smell like food. It has a strange stench. Oh well. I gotta eat. I’m here. Let’s try some of these crumbs.
It’s so hard. I can barely get it. Wait. It’s not food! What is this?! It hurts! My body… it’s… no! No! I can’t… my wings… everything feels sharp… burning… I…
I can see him. He’s just staring at his phone. Doesn’t he see me? I’m right here. I’m…
