Social media is like a highlight reel for our lives. Most people post only the exciting moments—the trips, the celebrations, the stuff worth bragging about. Like me posting pictures on Facebook of my trip to Albuquerque and skydiving.
But let’s be honest—that’s not real life. Most days, I’m just going through my routine. By today’s standards, you might even call my life boring.
I recently saw the movie Heretic, which is very good—watch it—and a point made in the movie stuck with me: we blindly follow and believe as truth what is said to us, especially by authority figures and family.
But we shouldn’t. Because it’s not true. And even if it is, that doesn’t mean it’s MY truth.
Let me explain.
If you’ve read any of my other stuff, you know I was a junkie and now I’m not—and that’s the objective truth. The details are irrelevant. Yes, there were very painful nights when I couldn’t sleep and wished for death. Times when I was so dead inside that I couldn’t cry or show any emotion. I could go on and tell you plenty of horrible shit I felt and things I thought were real. But why?
Those feelings and thoughts felt real to me at the time, but now I know they weren’t real. The only fact was that I was a drug addict. The other things were all in my mind, or they were MY truth—not THE truth.
I don’t have drama in my life because I don’t allow it. It sounds bad, but I don’t care. I’m looking out for my mental energy. Part of that is choosing not to absorb the weight of other people’s problems. I hear people tell me how bad their life is or how they just can’t seem to catch up, but I don’t internalize it.
I know that I’m not the first person they’ve vented to, and I know I won’t be the last person they tell, either. They’ll repeatedly tell anyone who’ll listen what they think is their truth.
Just like my sleepless nights filled with paranoia, what we focus on will become true—for us.
I used to blame my drug addiction for why I was miserable. As long as I was hooked on drugs, I had an excuse to feel sorry for myself, which gave me a reason to do more drugs—to numb the sadness.
That used to be my truth. I used to think I was a worthless dad, but I believed it was the drugs’ fault—not mine. That was my truth, and I used it like a mantra.
But as long as I believed that, I wasn’t going to change. I had to look for another truth. The truth was that as long as I kept using, I was never going to become the father I needed to be. The truth was that I was going to die and lose my daughters and my family unless I stopped doing meth.
And that became my new truth. I was no longer going to be a shitty father to my daughters. I was no longer going to be a screw-up son and brother. I was no longer going to be a bad friend. And it worked.
Don’t take anything as truth. Everyone’s truths are subjective. My truth is based on my experiences in life, just like yours are.
Even history books and bibles have been revised over time because the truth changes. History books are written by the victors. Every nation is the “good guy” in their version. Every country did what they had to do.
I’m not saying people are intentionally lying. I’m just saying that we all believe what is true for us at a particular point in our lives.
So, the next time you think something is true, question it. Because all we know is OUR truth. And if you push your ego aside and take a deep look at your beliefs, you’ll see that there are holes in your stories.
